Hi ya Kid! Man oh man have I been up to my collar with bizness! A new squirrel family has moved into the back forty and I've had to spend most of my day on patrol...they are wiley creatures and what I wouldn't give for one toasty squirrel pie! And, the squirrels are not my only problem these days...remember I told you about the human feeding some dang bunny? Well, it's STILL going on...it's exhausing kid - patroling for squirrels and bunnies 24/7...but it's what I do...when I'm not looking for the perfect stair...



I have two stair steps that are MINE...if the human wants to go up or down the stairs and she happens to step on MY STAIR, then it's only right that I take a nip out of her ankle...after all, I have CLAIMED it. She just doesn't understand what MINE means! After a long day of patrolling, I head for MY stair...where I can laze about while keeping one eye open to watch for the bunny...I've got a Pooshits-eye-view of the front porch from My stair...oh, that wasn't a swear word kid - honest - I wouldn't swear...you see, I'm half poodle...hence the poo part and half shihtzu...hence the s**t part...making me a Pooshit...so that's a NOUN and not a swear word so don't go thinking I need my mouth washed out with soap...'cause I'll take yer dang arm off!

And kid, just so you know...I may LOOK like I'm at rest...but let me assure you...I am on full alert...no one, and I mean no one, or no thing gets past me...inside or out of the manse...just try kid...c'mon give it a go...I'll have your ankle for dessert before you can scream, "MOM, THE DINGO IS EATING MY LEG!"

Heheheheeee I crack myself up! Okay kid, that's all I've got for you today...except for this...and it's dang important...Dog's Rule...and don't you ever forget it!

Dogs Are People Too!...

Hi ya Kid...well you can slap yo grandma and call me crazy but there are some things I just don't understand...take a look at the photo above...what the %*#! is that about?!?!?! Seriously kid, I didn't know whether to laugh or to cry...dressing up a beautiful little girl with a visor and glasses is bad enough but then to make her HANG in some front-loading-granny-pouch is down-right cruel!!! Thank Heavens my human would NEVER do that to me...I know this for a fact as she would rather die than carry around another 20 pounds!

So kid, now that I have your attention...feast your eyes on this poor little lad. It appears he only has two choices, he can either be chained or incarcerated in a plastic TUNA can! And kid, in case you're wondering...those AREN'T choices!! If I had seen this poor soul I would have set him free...I would have taught him how to bite anyone who dares to tie him up...I would have told him how to run like the wind until his owner collapsed with heat stroke...and I would have instructed him on the finer art of being an Alpha Male...as in HEAR ME ROAR!

Okay kid...that's all I've got for you today...time to go pee on the wall, just to show the human who's boss...and let me give you a clue...it ain't her! Now kid, if I've told you this once, I'm sure I've told you a dozen times...but it's truer than the yellow in the sun...Dog's Rule.

Bad Kitty...

Hi ya kid! Have I got some news for you! Just when I thought the human couldn't be any more crazy, she came home from a friend's house and showed me this picture...yep, that's a cat...and not just any cat...that's Spooky...ooooohhh...Spooky...what a stupid name for a cat! Actually, all names would be stupid on a cat...I mean, seriously kid, who would name a cat anything other than Dinner?!? So, here's the rub...the human shows me the picture and when I growled at it she got mad at me!! Whatever!! Did she really think I was going to lick it and say yum-yum?! Well, I might say yum-yum if Spooky was served to me on a silver-platter!!

Okay kid, got to run, remember that new family of squirrels I told you about? Well, they have refused to run-along as it were...so I'm now devising a plan of harassment and attack that should finish them off for good...it's just a matter of time before I'll finally be eating squirrel pie for dinner! Now kid, remember this, 'cause it's the dang truth....DOG'S RULE!

Style Comes Easy for Me...

Yo Kid - check it out! I'm sportin' a new scarf - wish I could say it matched my "baby blues" but ya'll know I have brown eyes...the color of you-know-what as the human would say!

Kid - sorry it's been so long since I've posted - big doin's around the manse have kept me from the computer...there's been a new squirrel family that's taken up residence in the oak tree just off the North side of the deck...and man, let me tell you, they are driving me crazy! I've got my eye on the big fat one - she's going to make a nice squirrel pie when I finally catch her!

Okay kid - I've got to get back on patrol - it's a dog's life you know! Now, hear me and hear me loud and clear....Dog's Rule!

Here Bunny, Bunny.....

Hi ya kid! Just take a look at that bunny, will ya? Doesn't it just look sweet and soft? WRONG! It looks delicious and chewy to me! The human has been feeding this bunny, I've mentioned that before, but what I haven't told you is my plan to catch the dang thing...and I'd tell you now but it's STILL TOP SECRET! I can't trust a human when it comes to bunnies...sorry, kid, not even you.

But, I'll let you in on another secret...that bunny is going to be MY SUPPER very, very soon...and then I think I'll have the human make me a bunny pillow from it's fur...yeah...something for me to rest my head on after a long day on patrol around the manse...man, oh man, it's good to be me! Got to run now kid...take care and remember this, 'cause it's the plum-dang-naked truth: Dog's Rule.

Hey kid - do I look happy to you?!? Well duh, I'm NOT happy...not one bit happy...the human is outside feeding that stinkin' BUNNY and I'm stuck inside with nothing but my brother's smelly shoes...you know kid, some days it stinks to be me! Now, back to the bunny...the human saw this ferral creature on the estate and so she started throwing carrots out to it...and then next thing you know she's got a bowl on the front porch where she puts carrots - so now that furry rodent actually HOPS UP ON MY PORCH and eats carrots!! The human sees NOTHING wrong with this...so I ask you kid...don't you think I need to take a chunk out of her backside to help her see the error of her ways?!?! She should be feeding ME not some stinkin' bunny!!

I just had a thought...with Easter being just around the corner, maybe the human is hatching some plan...maybe she's trying to fatten the bunny up and then she'll let me catch it and eat it on Easter...yeah, I'm SURE that's what she's doing!!! The human can't possibly LIKE that rodent! Okay kid, time to go make my rounds...till next time, remember this, 'cause it's the Gospel truth...Dog's Rule!

Aaaah...The Daily Treatment...

Hiya Kid! Welcome to my personal spa! Every morning, when the human gets out the hair dryer, I go running - hey, if SHE gets to be swathed in hot air then so do I! There's nothing better kid than laying on a nice plush Oriental rug and having the human gently blow my fur back and forth and back and forth...I'm telling you - it makes up for those dang squirrels that continue to elude me!

If only I could get a tummy-rub while I get my daily treatment...now THAT would be something! Got to run kid, I've been hearing some scratching on the roof - no doubt those vermin are trying to build a nest up there but not to fear - I've alerted the human boy and he's promised to get out his sling-shot...goin' to get me some squirrel by golly...and SOON! See ya kid and remember this...'cause it's the Gospel-truth...Dog's Rule!